just be.

clean-plate cleanse, day 1

so today is the first day of a 21-day cleanse i'm doing under the guidance of my nutritional counselor, leah. i've been eating more cleanly for a few weeks while we've been planning and gearing up, but today is officially day 1. 

this morning, i made apple-and-raisin quinoa for breakfast.

the recipe is super easy: boil then simmer quinoa, chopped apple, raisins, cinnamon, and a little water.

HOWEVER. because i have to make a project out of everything, i had no quinoa already cooked. so the first thing i did this morning was cook quinoa. cooking! immediately! but no problem. quinoa is simple! rinse, boil, simmer. 

HOWEVER. see: everything is a project. strainer (for rinsing) is juuust a little too small to hang by itself across the sink. so i'm juggling that and a measuring cup and trying to fend off a very curious cat. 

quinoa is cooking, and i realize that there are no greens in this, and i'm supposed to have greens at every meal during this cleanse. so i cleverly decide that i'll also make a smoothie—maximize use of the quinoa-cooking time AND have a snack ready for late morning. i am a clever, clever girl.

so i mix all the ingredients together for the first smoothie in my new (from leah) recipe book. blend. success!

it's not nearly so grey in real life; that's ice slush on top. but you notice how it's not at all green? like you'd expect it to be if it had greens in it? that's because there are no greens in this recipe. just coconut water, agave syrup, coconut butter, cacao powder, and ice. so i set that aside and thank baby jesus for the extra carafe we have for the vitamix, and i start the *second* smoothie recipe in the book, after verifying that it does indeed have greens in it.

so the second smoothie takes apple juice, adzuki beans, an apple, kale, and ice. again: everything is a production. gotta rinse the adzuki beans and measure out part of the can then store the rest. no problem for a normal person. for me? production. i have to wash the strainer first because i made chicken last night and the sink area is therefore contaminated, in my mind. wash the strainer, fend off the cat some more because CAN OPENER OMG even though we have never fed him anything that comes of using a can opener and what the hell kind of cat likes beans anyway? i manage to get the beans rinsed, label a little zipper plastic bag, measure what i need, store the rest, and decide not to fight the cat licking the strainer clean. who knew? cat likes adzuki beans. add the whole apple and a couple of (rinsed! go me!) leaves of kale and the ice to the blender. try blending. blending fail. try the tamper. still the apple appears to be whole, but i am stubborn. i let it rest while i attend to the quinoa. measure into a smaller pot to mix with the apple and other ingredients. more fending off of cat. let the smaller pot do its thing and try more blending. i use some long tongs to feel around for the apple and decide that i'm not ready to pull the apple out to chop it quite yet. more blending, more success. more tamping. then i put my trust in the vitamix and blast it on high. high scares me. high makes me think that the motor will burst into flames and i will be found in a crackling pile of fruit and greens being licked clean by a little jerk cat.

i might have a phobia about electrical fires. i come by it honestly. don't judge.

anyway, i finally manage success with both quinoa and smoothie, put all the extras and leftovers away, pile the sink high with tools and dishes, decant the smoothies into grownup sippy cups because i am incapable of not spilling, and schlep it all upstairs. before taking any photos while anything is still out and pretty. i need to remember to bring my iphone to the kitchen more often.

so the green smoothie

is quite bright and tasty, and the quinoa is yummy, too. and really it didn't take THAT long to do all that, and i now have breakfast quinoa for at least another day, probably two, plus smoothie snacks for the rest of today.

i haz a proud. 

so far, so good.

i went grocery shopping with leah last week. pro tip: supplements are expensive. right now and until the cleanse (which starts *this* thursday) ends, i'm avoiding soy, dairy, corn, gluten, eggs, and peanuts. cooking with coconut or olive oil. the food is good, but man is it a challenge to shop (or choose from a restaurant menu--so far, no success on that one).

yesterday was the best day so far. no migraine and minimal gastrointestinal discomfort or other symptoms. i would love to have days like that more often. actually, i haven't had GI symptoms for a few days, or at least none keeping me in bed or anything. the migraines are still every day, except yesterday so far. but this process isn't aimed at solving the migraine problem, so that's okay. they just keep me from really fully enjoying days on which my GI symptoms are gone or minimal.

so thursday leah will come over for a few hours to help me cook, show me some recipes, and teach me how to use my new pressure cooker. it's very nice to have someone ready to answer questions, and she's very positive. she's also very understanding and patient. it all gives me hope.

not bad

today was the second day of the precleanse. i woke up feeling pretty good this morning, and leah had emailed me the get-started food list (to tide me over until we do our special training shopping trip on thursday), so i went straight to whole foods to buy some goodies. i bought some gluten-free bagels and bread, freshly ground almond butter, some soy- and dairy-free faux butter (not as terrible as it sounds, i swear--it's all been tasty and hasn't made me sick, so i'm happy), apples, strawberries, grapes, and lots of other stuff that is as free of refined sugars, allergens, and other commonly sensitivity-aggravating ingredients (very little prepared food and as little gluten, wheat, soy, corn, dairy, and sugar as possible).

(the stevia is in case my smoothies, which are now omitting juice and replacing yogurt with cultured coconut milk, aren't sweet enough.)

(the protein powder will replace the whey and soy protein powders i usually use in my smoothies. the chia powder is to add to gluten-free oatmeal and such.)

although i got a pretty intense migraine from even the VERY brief time i spent outside (more the brightness of the sun than the heat, i think), i felt pretty good in terms of GI stuff today, which is awesome. 

even if it's too soon to be seeing or feeling real results, it's psychological progress. having someone working with me to find a solution is a huge relief.

starting fresh

i've posted before about my ongoing gastrointestinal issues and the various failed attempts to figure out what was causing them and how to fix them. this is the latest. 

i've been working with a trainer for a couple of years on and off, first at my gym and then at home. my GI issues have affected our work together a lot because i frequently have to cut our workouts short or cancel them altogether. so we've talked a lot about nutrition and non–workout-related health stuff, and she's been recommending to me that i see her friend leah, a nutritional counselor. i don't know why i didn't do it sooner, but i guess it just felt like a luxury, or like it wouldn't work, or like it would be too scary and unfamiliar. 

finally, though, i contacted leah. we met for the first time last week, and i really liked what she had to say. although she's way healthier than i've ever dreamed of being, she has a lot of my same less-than-perfect habits: eating while working on the couch, getting into a working zone and not remembering to get up and move. she listened to my stories about the botched colonoscopy and the ridiculous pretense of an elimination diet and the ways in which my symptoms have affected my work and social life. i felt like she had a plan and one that would work with my picky eating, emotional eating, and everything else.

so i signed up for a six-month run, and we had our first real meeting yesterday. she came to the house and looked at all the food we have, talked with me for a long time about what i eat and don't eat or don't like, looked at the physical setup (where we eat on the sofa, the multiple refrigerators and freezers, pantry), and went over the beginnings of the plan with me. the plan starts with a cleanse next week—not a lemon + cayenne pepper thing, but a gentle elimination diet, with the goal of eliminating foods that commonly trigger sensitivities and allergies, letting my system rest for a few months, gradually reintroducing new ingredients, and adjusting my palate (to stop the cravings and addiction and bad habits of high sugar and fat). we officially start next thursday, when she'll meet me at whole foods and help me shop and then show me some recipes. she had me get a pressure cooker, and i am looking forward to her new smoothie recipes for my beloved vitamix blender.

anyway, big changes starting, and i'm nervous but excited. i started this morning with a wheat- and dairy-free breakfast of oat-bran cereal with raisins, a naked smoothie (still higher in sugar than what she'd like, but i think okay until we officially start?) (edited because i got further through the start-up instructions and saw that juices are a no-no for me right now, so the one sip i had of that smoothie before reading that part will be it for today), and ice water mixed with a little luna vitamin powder and magnesium.

wish me luck. if i can feel better, it'll be worth it.

skirting the issue

i've been working on making my first skirt ever. my first time sewing in at least 30 years. it's the pintester's fault. and craftsy's fault. but it's not as awful as it could be. which is to say that i haven't injured anyone any worse than getting a migraine and sticking myself with some pins. and mostly it's good, except that apparently neither my trainer nor i can take a good widest-point measurement.

NAILED IT.

srsly, the shape is good, the length and waist will look good once the darts are in and hem is sewn, and i successfully put in my first zipper ever, i think. i just need to be more careful about that hip measurement.

also testing out the jawbone up versus the fitbit flex. so far (first day in), the flex is winning in every comparison. pretty, comfortable, nice interface, better documentation, easier setup.

tomorrow, i'll be volunteering at the toonseum for a few hours to help with the comic arts festival, and then i'll be working on the skirt in the afternoon. this will be my fifth iteration of the tracing-paper drafting of the pattern, but that's why you buy a whole roll, right?

botox update

the botox injections were done two weeks ago now. they haven't been helping the headaches at all, unfortunately; still getting one every day, and they usually come back after the sumatriptan wears off, which sucks. yesterday i updated my neuro on this, per his request, and he put me on a two-week run of methergine to break the cycle. started working immediately, thank goodness. also discontinuing the concerta for a while (i take that for the narcolepsy) because it seems to aggravate the headaches.

anyway, a few days after the botox injections, i noticed that only the outer arches of my eyebrows would move--the center of my forehead stayed put no matter how much i tried to move it. just now i noticed that the left eyebrow will not move at all now. the right one will still move at the outer arch, but that's it. the rest of my forehead is staying. put. it is weird to look in the mirror and see that happening.

anyway, we'll give the botox more time. i have the next round july 9, which is after maryland sheep and wool and after ashokan, so i'm very grateful for a couple of weeks of no sumatriptan (not allowed to take it if a headache breaks through while on the methergine) so i'm more likely to have a few left for traveling.

it's been a difficult week for so many people. been holding them in the light along with everyone else, and i hope that their worlds become peaceful and that they can heal. 

just did a little video diary about my experience with my first-ever botox treatment for chronic migraine. some of the injections (there were 20) barely hurt at all, some hurt a bit, and some a LOT. the worst, really, was this crunching sound that the really painful ones made--doc said that's where the muscles are most tense. bleck. squick squick squick. but i'm hoping that it'll help reduce the frequency or intensity (or both?) of my daily migraines. wish me luck!

happy (and sad) anniversaries

eight years ago today, we closed on our house.

two days after that, we went to see some dogs that were up for adoption. we ended up bringing them home with us and moving into the house almost three weeks earlier than planned.

there was this handsome guy for my handsome guy:

and this silly girl for this silly girl:

well, "moving in" = bringing a futon over and sleeping on the floor because actual moving-in weekend with furniture and such wasn't until almost three weeks later. (the sad part of the story is that my kitty kuan yin got to see very little of me during that time because she stayed at our apartment a block away so as not to be subjected to the dogs and too much change so quickly. mean but beloved old girl died two years later, to the day, from dog-adoption day. i just realized that and am sad all over again.)

kuan yin, in the old apartment:

LET ME GO I HATE AFFECTION

and yet i must sit on you at all times.

i feel the need to commemorate these special dates somehow, but we just ordered in *last* night.

drugs

i haven't blogged much lately; most of my what-would-be-blogging time is spent making videos of me practicing my new ukulele, which is way more fun than blogging :)

but i had an annoyance this week that merited a blog post: meds.

i have several chronic medical conditions, two of which are treated with daily and as-needed medications: migraine and narcolepsy. for migraine, i take as many preventive measures as i can but still suffer daily these days. it sucks. so i take a dose of sumatriptan pretty much every day, timed to maximize the number of valuable hours i have pain free.

i take sumatriptan (used to be branded Imitrex) in two forms: 100-mg caplets and 6-mg injections. both forms have changed formats lately, which is jarring by itself, i confess. but here's the latest change that has annoyed me.

the first generic sumatriptan caplets i got and had for at least a couple of years were by Ranbaxy, and the new ones are from Dr. Reddy's. 

new box is larger. 

not a huge deal. i have lots of storage space in this house.

but the boxes are larger because the pills are larger. by about three times, according to my eyeballs.

also not a huge deal because i am lucky enough to be able to take pills pretty easily; i understand that some people really have a hard time with large pills, but i'm fortunately not one of them.

the part i hate about the new pills is that they require SCISSORS to open each tablet's blister pack.

seriously? you want me to get out a pair of scissors and cut a tiny tough blister pack when i can barely focus my vision and think?

this is the result of my first attempt.

seriously, drug manufacturers. i am sincerely grateful for the relief that your medications provide me in my times of need. i am sincerely grateful that you make them available to me. i am sincerely grateful that i have prescription-drug coverage and good health insurance that help me afford the doctor appointments and medications they think will help me. but please do a little research with your consumers to learn what will and won't work for them beyond just the active ingredients.

when i was younger, i started a career as a technical writer. one of the first and most valuable things i learned back then was that a good technical writer is thinking as much about the audience's affect as about their needs for and capacity to receive the technical information. when a software user is frustrated by unintuitive software and interfaces, enough that he or she has now gone looking at the manual or help to just move to the next step in his or her task, he or she does not need added layers of difficulty, confusion, obfuscation. that user needs accessible, fast help with no fuss. no surveys, no questions, just get me past this stumbling block and back to what i need to do. NOW.

the same principle applies to medications (and packaging and, well, pretty much anything in life). (if i had another career life, i'd do packaging design. it's definitely a Thing for me. my organizer teases me about it because some packaging--especially Apple stuff--is too beautiful to throw out.)

if you didn't already know, mr. bee got me a banjo ukulele for christmas, and i love it. cannot get enough play time. it's so cheering!
in addition to practicing at home for a few hours a week (usually about an hour a day during the week), i've been playing with Steel City Ukes every other wednesday at our local community center and taking lessons at Calliope School of Folk Music every tuesday. i'm also contemplating starting a different class with a different instructor at the community center on thursdays, but it feels like a lot all at once (though the calliope lessons will end in two weeks, so maybe not). it's a ridiculously easy instrument to learn the basics, but there's a lot of stuff one can do with it--hence the desire for lessons.
anyway, i want to keep track of what songs i'm working on learning on my own, and i guess that's one thing one can do with one's blog. if one wants to do that. right now, i'm working on these: "it's time to get laid," "keep on the sunny side," "merry minuet," "operator," "RAND hymn," and "turn around." the chords are easy-peasy on most of those, but my singing needs work :)
i already want another uke. and a banjo. but i'm going to make myself wait as long as i can before i start collecting instruments. give me strength. (is there a song about that?)